Dear ones,
Today is Trans Day of Visibility—a day that feels so layered for me. Visibility is something I work toward, something I fight for every day, and yet, it’s also a space filled with risk. Being visibly trans in public can feel dangerous, a vulnerability that follows me every time I step outside.
And still… I am trans.
Being a single parent adds another layer. With a child, I get misgendered even more often. People struggle to accept that a trans person gave birth, and their minds sometimes just… can’t process it. But here I am, living this truth, with a little one who proudly tells everyone, “My mom is a THEY, not a boy or a girl.” That moment—oh, it’s pure magic, and it makes all the exhaustion, all the worry, all the small cruelties of the world, feel worth it.
Parenting spaces—school gates, medical appointments, even parenting groups—often come with the same old arguments, the repeated misgenderings. Sometimes, I avoid them because the subtle judgment feels like being treated as if queerness is contagious. And queer spaces? I’ve only ever been to a gay club once in my life. Circumstances—having a baby at nineteen, living far from family, and lacking reliable childcare—make it nearly impossible. Protests, marches, gatherings—they move fast, and I’m just alone with Eve.
Lockdown, strangely, became the most visibly trans I’ve ever felt. Online, I could be seen fully for who I am. My pronouns are in black and white next to my name on Zoom calls. I have access to life drawing sessions, parties, organizing meetings—spaces made accessible for me. Interacting online has allowed me to be present without constantly squashing my identity to protect myself from misunderstanding or harm.
Being trans is a beautiful, complex, and powerful thing. I know many other trans parents feel the same. I wish we could all be more visible to the world in safe, affirming ways. I wish the world could be kinder, more understanding, and more ready to see us fully.
So today, I hope you all find some joy for yourselves. Hold close the beauty in your identity. Being trans is a gift. We are brave. We are bold. We are everything.
With love,
Jade
