Chad and I met 14 years ago. We dated for about four years before getting married, so we’ve now been married for 10 wonderful years. I don’t think, at the time, either of us knew the path life would lay before us. We had conversations about children, of course, but we never settled on a “number” or imagined that our journey of building a family would include foster care and adoption.
When Chad and I were dating and things were becoming more serious, we had the inevitable conversation about kids. It wasn’t easy for me. I wanted to be open and honest without feeling rejected. I needed to tell him about my heart condition—something I was born with, a congenital heart defect. It’s a part of me, but it’s never defined me. Still, I knew it might affect our ability to have biological children. I remember telling Chad, almost as a way to give him an out, “If biological kids are important to you, I don’t know if I can give that to you.”
Chad didn’t walk away, and he didn’t say that biological children mattered more to him. Instead, he said something I’ll never forget: “We both want kids. That’s what matters. It doesn’t matter how the kids get here. We’ll figure out the details!” In that moment, I fell even more in love and knew he was the one for me.
Our journey to foster care and adoption is a little different from many others. Infertility wasn’t our path, and we didn’t see foster care as a religious calling. I now believe we were meant for this journey, even if we didn’t realize it at the time. All the conversations, signs, and moments we had along the way were quietly preparing us for what was to come.
A few years into our marriage, we decided to see if biological children were possible for us. After consulting my cardiologist, I was cleared to try, though it would be considered a high-risk pregnancy and would require very close monitoring. By God’s grace, it went smoothly, and we welcomed our son in May of 2014. Life as a family of three was joyful and full. We found a rhythm, and our home felt complete—at least for a while.
A few years later, we began thinking about expanding our family again. I spoke with my doctor, and his words caught me off guard: “You beat the odds with this pregnancy. I’m not sure I’d roll the dice again.” Hearing that was hard. I had always known the risks, but hearing them so bluntly forced me to face the reality that I might not be able to give our son a sibling. It was painful, but with Chad’s love and support, along with our families’, I came to peace with the decision. We took time to consider our next steps. Would we remain a family of three forever?
By late 2016, we began exploring other ways to grow our family. Chad and I both wrestled with the thought of our son being an only child. We knew very little about foster care and adoption—just that my aunt and uncle had fostered and adopted, which was our only frame of reference. I can’t explain exactly why, but something inside me felt drawn to it. I often call this our prayers being answered. We were placed on a path we knew nothing about, one that would eventually bring so much joy and growth into our lives.
We started researching, reading about foster care, and talking openly about what it might look like for our family. Finally, we decided, “Let’s give it a try. What do we have to lose?” We completed the paperwork, attended pre-service training classes, were fingerprinted, and went through the home study. I like to joke that we’re just boring enough to be foster parents—the process certainly proved it! The licensing process took about eight months, and finally, in November 2017, we were licensed. I remember emailing Chad with the news: “We finally have it. We are licensed to parent!” We were excited—but also completely unprepared for the reality of what came next.
In January 2018, we received our first placement. It was a cold winter day when a caseworker called to ask if we could take in a little girl. We said yes, and our son Carter was thrilled. When she walked through the door, he climbed onto the couch, patted her leg, and said with pure joy, “Mama, I just love her!” That moment was magical. Foster care can be so immediate and surreal—one moment, a child is dropped into your life, and just like that, your family grows.
Not long after, in the spring of 2018, we added a third child. The day he arrived, he walked in with the biggest smile and an even bigger personality. He and Carter instantly connected, and although reunification was always the goal, we poured love and stability into his life, creating a positive foster care experience.
I’ll never forget the moment we hugged him goodbye after his first case plan ended. Chad and I held each other in the kitchen and said, “We did it. We did what we were supposed to do.” It was a relief, a triumph, and proof that the hard days were worth it. But the story didn’t end there. A few months later, we received a call: he could come back to us. We welcomed him home immediately. That night, as he and Chad took a long walk together, I saw firsthand how much he needed stability and love—and how much we could give it.
We settled back in with three little ones, and one morning during breakfast, Carter turned to him and said, “I’m just so glad you’re back. I missed you so much!” That’s the beauty of foster care—the ability to provide love, stability, and hope in the midst of uncertainty.
In April 2020, we adopted him. While 2020 was challenging in so many ways, adopting our son remains one of the best moments of our lives—one shining light in a difficult year.
Since then, we’ve welcomed another foster child into our home and continue to support her and her family on this journey. Throughout all of it, we’ve been blessed with incredible support from family, friends, and amazing caseworkers. It truly takes a village to commit to this work—and it’s worth every moment.
We believe deeply in reunification and honor the process, even when it doesn’t lead to permanent placement. Sharing our story has been important to me, both to celebrate the joys and to acknowledge the heartaches. Foster care and adoption are beautiful, but they’re also full of challenges. They require patience, resilience, and unconditional love.
To anyone feeling drawn to foster care: take the leap. Pour your heart into these children who deserve more love than the world has sometimes given them. Families are meant to be together, but when that isn’t possible, foster care and adoption allow for rebuilding, healing, and hope. The journey is hard—but it is worth every single second.
