As a little girl, I remember my dad often telling me, “Honey, it’s going to take a special man to handle you.” It became our little joke, one that made me giggle every time. Even then, I knew it was because I was a strong-willed child who gave my parents a run for their money. What I didn’t understand at the time was that my health struggles would eventually become the greatest obstacle in finding love.
Growing up, I never had much confidence in my appearance. My belly was always larger than other kids’, and as I got older, the weight steadily increased. By my teenage years, my liver was barely functioning. Unsurprisingly, boys didn’t exactly flock to me. I watched my friends get asked out on dates, go to homecoming, and attend prom while I sat on the sidelines, feeling invisible. It hurt deeply. I tried everything—every fad diet, every workout plan—but most attempts ended with me back in the hospital. I always felt like the odd girl out. No one could truly understand what it was like to live in my shoes, and that loneliness was suffocating.
At 15, I received my first liver transplant. I remember waking up and feeling a surge of energy I had never known. My eyes were white for the first time in years, and my legs were soft, free from the swelling that had plagued me. For the first time, I felt like life was opening up in a way I had only dreamed of. I could finally imagine being a “normal” teen, hanging out with friends without constant hospital visits looming over me. Six months later, I experienced my first real date with a handsome guy from my new job. I was ecstatic. He came over to swim, and I nervously tried on every swimsuit I owned. As we made our way to the pool, small talk felt like climbing a mountain.
Then it happened. He noticed my scars. His expression shifted in a way I would never forget. He pointed and asked, “What is that from?” I tried to answer quickly, hoping to move past it, but 15 minutes later, his mom called him home, and I never heard from him again. Mortified, I retreated from dating. Let’s be honest—teenagers can be shallow, and a girlfriend with hospital scars and tubes wasn’t exactly a dream date. After too many experiences like that, I stopped putting myself out there, especially in the vulnerable summer months.
Everything changed one Wednesday night when I was bartending. He walked in, and my heart skipped a beat. It was a scene straight out of a movie—everything else blurred, and all I saw was him. I was smitten instantly but terrified he would never feel the same. After months of him coming in and little interactions filled with curiosity about each other, we finally decided to hang out. That was the day my life shifted. I fell hard and fast, aware that he hadn’t seen the “real” me yet—my scars, my hospital stays, my most vulnerable self.
The test came sooner than I hoped. Three months into dating, Ryan rushed me to the ER. Most people would be overwhelmed or uncomfortable, but not him. He sat by my side, held my hand, and supported me through the ordeal. That hospital visit was the first of countless times he stayed with me through procedures, scares, and recovery.
My dad had been right—finding someone to love me, truly care for me, was never going to be easy. Ryan and I dated for three years before getting engaged at 24, all while navigating hundreds of hospital days and emergency visits. I often felt guilty for what he endured alongside me, but love, as they say, is blind. Ryan loved me fiercely, proving that my illness didn’t make me less worthy—it made me who I was. Meeting him taught me that I deserved someone extraordinary, not someone to compromise with.
At 25, I faced the possibility of a second liver transplant. At first, fear consumed me. I didn’t think I could endure it again. But thinking of Ryan and the life we were building gave me the courage to say yes. A year and a half later, the call came, and I underwent the transplant.
The following two years were some of the most challenging of our lives. We were young newlyweds, navigating life’s unpredictability while fighting for my survival. Our relationship has never been easy, yet we committed to growing together, learning from mistakes, and never losing sight of one another. Life may deal difficult cards, but it’s how you play them that shapes your journey.
I believe God sent me Ryan ten years ago, knowing I would need his strength in my weakest moments. He loved me when I felt unlovable, reminded me I was beautiful when I wanted to hide, and embraced all the challenges that came with loving me. Opening myself to him meant risking rejection again, but it was worth it. He became my unwavering safety net, my partner through it all, the one I could always lean on.
Ten years later, we have faced every obstacle together. Three years ago, we were blessed with our miracle baby, who transformed our world. Loving Ryan taught me to love myself and to embrace all of who I am. The hardships we endured strengthened us, shaping our marriage into what it is today. Our love story has never been easy, but I wouldn’t change a single part of it.
Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve. Life’s challenges may make you question your worth, but the truth is you are worthy of everything you desire. Believe in yourself, embrace your journey, and never let your past define your future.
